Chocolate Cake

Unbalanced

% Daily Values based on a 2,000 calorie diet

Step 1

-Set the oven 315° -put on a pot of water to boil -next mix the milk with vinegar and set it aside to curdle ***Into a large bowl add -flour -sugar -cocoa powder (sifted) -baking soda -baking powder -salt ***mix it -next add three unborn chickens -dump in the milk mixture -oil -vanilla extract ***mix it -slowly pour the boiling coffee into the mixture while whisking ***the mixture is going to look liquidly but I promise that's how it's supposed to look ***next you'll want to work quickly because the leaveners are already activated -grease two 9 inch cake pans -and divide the batter evenly into each pan ***you can eyeball or you can use a scale -give the pans a nice little tap on the counter -and bake them for 70 to 75 minutes

Step 2

***Start making the frosting AFTER cakes have baked and are cooling*** -start with the dark chocolate bar this is about 70% cocoa and I grate it on a micro-plane till it turns into chocolate dust this helps the chocolate melt faster when we add it to the frosting later. you'll be left over with little Nubs at the end and you can just chop those as small as you can ***into a medium sauce pot add -sugar -corn starch -sift in the cocoa powder -espresso powder -salt ***mix it -add the cold water while whisking slowly ***once everything's dissolved switch to a rubber spatula for better control ***on medium heat -continue mixing until it turns to the consistency of pudding -once it starts to really thicken remove it from the heat -add in the chocolate and mix until it's melted -stir in the butter -pour onto a dinner plate to cool -you'll know it's the right consistency when you spread it and it holds its shape

Step 3

-once baked turn the cooled cakes out onto a parchment paper -use a cake leveler or a serrated knife to split them down the middle -place a layer of the cake on a cake stand then add a few scoops of frosting repeat this for the rest of the layers -the frosting is slick so you don't want to add too much of it in between or else the layers are going to slip and slide one of my favorite tricks is placing the cake stand on top of a lazy Susan and running a small offset spatula on the side of the chocolate cake. when I get to the top I do the same thing right until I reach the middle and Bam a perfect decadent chocolate cake